Alaskan Transcendentalist

Let’s talk bathrooms; yes I know it’s a bit gross and maybe a bit unnerving but it’s time.             Often I have people ask me if there is anything I miss about being female. I only have one answer and even that is a bit of a no. My answer you ask… the women’s restroom. Now, I suffered a lot of abuse from other women when I would use public restrooms and often had security called on me and had a few purses knock me around, but the women’s restroom GENERALLY is much cleaner and better smelling than the men’s room. This is what I miss about being female.               So what is it about the men’s room that is so bad? You would think that having a hose you can aim would help all that nasty urine end up in the toilet but NO! There is more piss all over the toilets, urinals, and the FLOOR than you would ever believe. I have to clean the toilet every time I go in...

              Many transgender individuals suffer from one form of depression or another at some point during their lives. For some, it can be a life long battle. Depression is more than just being sad. Depression is a mental illness that requires treatment and can be difficult to handle alone. There are many treatment options for depression but also a lot of life struggles that come with suffering from it. As someone who has struggled with depression for many years, I know how difficult it can be to live with.             I started struggling with depression when I was about twelve years old. It was also at that time when I started getting really active in my religious activities but also started getting made fun of in school. Everyone seemed to know I was a lesbian except for me, and I struggled with being teased and harassed my entire school career. When I f...

I can’t help but smile every time I see an old couple. I find it tender and heartwarming watching them interact whether they are loving and holding hands or she is yelling at her husband trying to get a point across that she’s right and he is an old deaf man. How you must love someone to spend your life with them and share so many intimate moments and putting up with each other’s craziness.   I believe that love is a growing entity and that in order to grow it needs constant attention, nurturing, and paying attention to the small things. Life can be so busy and crazy and stressful but what a joy it is to have someone you trust and love to share it with. Loving someone is about so many things: staying up thinking about them and how your date went, being super cute just to hear her giggle, doing something for her just so you can see her smile, watching her when she doesn’t know you’re there because she’s just so cute when she’s concentrating on her work, playing a love song...

I took my Testosterone shot today after not having had it for a few weeks. I couldn’t believe how much it was like my first time. Not only did I get the intense high after the shot, but I mentally went back to the first shot. I had the needle in my hand and the spot on my thigh ready for the penetration…   “OMG what am I doing????”   Eh it’s going to hurt! I am seriously about to shove this needle into my thigh…”   what the fuck?!?!?”   A few minutes go by…. And a few deep sighs…. “Ok, I can do this. Come on Danny, you’ve done this a ton of times before.” “ Don’t be a pussy.” “ahhhhhh…..oh my gaaaawwwwd.”             The needle penetrated my thigh muscle and as the T started shooting into my muscles, I felt an instant high. I felt my blood pressure go down and I exhaled a sigh of relief. I couldn’t believe how amazing it felt having something shooting into my muscle. Even though it was painful, it...