Totally Disney- *beware you may vomit from adorableness

There is nothing quite like love to boost the senses and make us feel alive. The excitement of a new romance and the oey goey gush of cuteness and hormones makes our day and holidays are all the more exciting with someone to share them with. We all want these wonderful feelings to continue and blossom into the perfect Disney romance but often we end up hurt or hurting someone else and crying our eyes out to the worst sappy romantic movies while trying not to get the running snot in our popcorn and half gallon carton of ice cream. I have had my fair share of these experiences and absolute heart breaks but what I've learned from them is beyond priceless, and I am able to use that knowledge in my current relationship.


I have to admit that while I always thought I was some Prince Charming, I really wasn't that great of a partner, and I'm still far from perfect. Most of my past girlfriends will tell you that I'm super romantic to the point of obsession and that I was selfish in a lot of my deeds, expecting something in return. I was very needy and suffocated all of my partners at one point or another and even embarrased myself in front of their friends or my friends by some of the things I would do and say. I thought I was a great partner (girlfriend or boyfriend depending on what point of my life we're talking), but I was blinded by what I thought was absolute love... turns out I just had a really high sex drive and was emotionally insecure in myself and needed someone else to love me.


The nice part about learning so much from the past is that I tend not to make the same mistakes now or at least don't make them as often. I also have been able to love myself to not be so crazy and obsessive in my relationship. Why do I admit all this? Because for me, I can't believe how lucky I am to be engaged to such an amazing partner, and I don't know what I did to deserve her, but I'm so glad she is in my life.


I met Cheryl at Closetball 2012 where I performed “Spiders and Snakes” by Jim Stafford, but I was far too intoxicated by the time we were introduced by a mutual friend (because she LOVED the song I performed) to remember her. At the end of June or beginning of July, we met again at a block party where The Last Frontier Drag Kings performed a song in honor of our friend Mya Dale who had recently passed away, and I gave a eulogy written by Mya's partner. Cheryl was there with our mutual friend and helped me change by keeping me from other's eyes and even recorded our performance and the eulogy with my phone for me (I trusted her with my brand new iphone simply because I thought she was cute... so glad she didn't run away with it). Emotions were high that day and Cheryl embraced me as if she had known me for years as I cried on her shoulder. We exchanged facebook info and parted ways.

August came with a drag show by the Last Frontier Drag Kings to celebrate my 24^th birthday which I was stuck using crutches for having severely sprained my ankle at Myrna's the night before. As I was taking my place in the bar to get ready for the group number, Cheryl saw me and came to say hi and happy birthday as she gave me a hug which of course put me in a FABULOUS mood for our first number. Performances came and went but during the second set I performed “Whiskey Hangover” with my wonderful crutches and a whiskey bottle half full of coke. It really was a grand performance, and I am devastated that I don't have it recorded because Cheryl came up to tip me and just stood at the end of the stage while I performed in front of her till the instrumental break. She looked cute, and I was high from the energy of performing, so I let her place her dollar bill in my pants then promptly made out with her while trying not to fall off the stage and crush her. I refused to admit it at the time but it was the best kiss I've ever had while performing, and I have had a good number of make out sessions during a performance.... not to brag or anything.... but yes, Danny Cockring is a hot, cocky mutha fucker. Anyways, at the end of the show I looked for Cheryl but she was nowhere to be found, so I asked pops to ask for her over the loud speaker when her friend said they had gone over to Myrna's. Guess where I went after I packed my bag.....

To save time and from boring you to death, long story short, I ended up stealing her from a lesbian she was seeing and we started dating. There were a lot of ups and downs in the first few months because I was getting over a different relationship, trying to quit drinking, had stopped performing due to medical issues, and we had to move in together due to both of us having to move out of our other places after only dating for 2 months (holy cow don't do it!). A few months later our mutual friend moved in with us and proceeded to be physically and emotionally abusive and never worked a single day to help with bills and spent all of his time drinking, partying, and screaming. I had also lost my job due to medical issues and was stuck trying to do school and pick up random side work for extra money here and there while trying to apply for a real job. Through all of this, Cheryl somehow managed to keep loving and supporting me even when I treated her like dirt. I kept her at arms length because I couldn't give her the emotional support and love she needed from me. We had fights and argued about our friend whom I wanted to kick out but she refused and always protected him despite his extreme abuse of her. I was often angry and stressed so break ups happened often but we still needed each other finanially and though we didn't want to admit it, emotionally.


Really it wasn't the best beginning and there came a day when I had enough and started to pack my things. I will never forget the way she cried at realizing I was giving up on her and on us. I had never heard anyone else cry and sob like that- it was just how I sobbed and cried at losing my first partner whom I had been in love with for 4 years and only with for 1 ½ years. I watched stunned as Cheryl sunk to the floor begging me not to leave and to please talk things out. I couldn't handle seeing someone in so much pain because of me. I had no idea why she loved me or wanted me, and I had no idea what to do. Eventually we agreed that we would not be in a relationship but rather we would live together until 1 of 2 things happened, either we were okay with not being together (because all our breakups only lasted a day or 2 before we crawled back to each other) or we decided we couldn't live without each other. That was the deal. Several months passed and the arrangement seemed to be working. In fact, it helped me to see just how much that crazy, emotional and goofy woman loved me and how much of my stress and anger at our friend was because deep down I truly cared for her. With tax returns I purchased a beautiful but simple diamond and proposed on April 21^st, 2013 (which is an entirely seperate story).

I would like to say that it has been perfect since my proposal but I can't. We still had some ups and downs but the night I proposed we promised that we would never threaten leaving or abandoning each other during the hard times. I am happy to say we have stuck by that promise even during the worst moments. So let me explain how our relationship is today: every day is filled with love and acceptance. We understand that neither of us are perfect and when we disagree and have arguments, we don't blame but rather attempt to try and understand each other's point of view and try to explain our side/feelings/perspective/emotions so the other can understand and be on the same page. We try to provide the other with what they need in the relationship as often as possible. We take time for ourselves and for each other. We have gotten several people, including our “friend”, out of our lives as they did nothing but cause stress and other issues for us. Cheryl works and supports me while I am working on finishing school (I graduate May 4^th WOOHOO!!!) and I take care of the cooking and chores.

I don't know what I did to have Cheryl stay during those beginning months, but I'm so grateful that she never gave up on me. She is my best friend; my confidant; my therapist; my biggest fan; my greatest support; my comic relief; the best intimate partner and the best woman I could have ever asked to spend my life with. We have both changed for the better in the last year of our relationship, and we are so excited for our wedding this August and for a lifetime of sharing our lives together and growing more in love as time goes by.

Cheryl, I love you more than I have ever loved anyone in my life and more than I've probably ever loved myself. I cannot express just how grateful I am for all of your love and support as you have put off your dreams to help me accomplish mine. I would not have gone back to finish my degree if you hadn't encouraged me, and I wouldn't have gotten my health on the right track if you weren't doing the same thing by my side. I had such a hard time ever picturing a future until you came along, and I am so blessed to have someone that shares many of the same dreams and goals. Words are not good enough to express all of my gratitude and all of my love for you. I promise to always keep my word: I will never abandon you or make you feel unappreciated or unloved. I am the luckiest man alive to have someone who understands me and who loves me unconditionally and whom I love equally in return.


Always,
Your Big Strong Man,

Danny