Dreams and Passions

They say it all starts with a dream. Our actions begin with a single thought planted in our brains. As human beings it is natural to seek out our desires to fulfill them. The question is, how do we know our real desires? Our society is full of current styles and the newest obsessions but does this determine what we as individuals want? What do YOU want out of YOUR life? How do you know if it’s something real or just fantasy?

            Sadly I can’t even always answer these questions for myself. I want to do what is best for me and my future, but I don’t always know what that is. How do I know what will last and what will fall by the wayside? I think it has to do with time and dedication. What you put your time and money and attention into is what you desire. That is where your heart belongs. It might not always seem right or practical or even sane, but it is what we do and think subconsciously that feeds our desires and passions.

            Unfortunately my desires don’t co-inside with what my life is at the moment- however, it is setting me on the path one day at a time. I’m finally, at the age of 24, figuring out what I want my life to be. As a young child I focused on relationships and getting married and having kids. The problem with that is I was programed to want that and the more I search out my other desires and passions, the more I see it isn’t really what I want. Yes I do eventually want that in my life, but I don’t want that to be my focus. I want to learn. I want to get degrees and study and research. I want to learn about serial killers and criminals and use that knowledge to work for the police as a detective or profiler. I want to learn about gender and sexuality and use that to start a Transgender support center. I want to help others who are struggling with their gender identity and sexual orientation. I want to be part of the community. I want to volunteer and go to events and get to know more people in my own community. I want to build connections and be someone that people call when they need help. I want to be active. I want to be a gym junkie. I want to be healthy and have energy to run around and do a million things in one day.

            I want to be a writer. I want to write my story down and have my book published to help educate and entertain others. I want to continue writing articles and questioning the world and society. I want to push the envelope. I don’t want to sit complacent and just take it anymore. I want to go after those who would restrict people’s rights, and I want to make a difference in the world. I want to live outside of myself and be an inspiration as others have been an inspiration to me; not because I want praise but because it makes me feel good knowing that I’ve made a difference.

            My dreams and goals are not the same as they were when I was young. Only one dream has remained the same and that is to be a good man. I’m grateful to be working on that every day and to be on hormones and saving for my surgeries. And part of being that better man is following the rest of my dreams and going for it no matter how crazy or impossible it seems.